I have been doing my Mark Hollis and Talk Talk videos since two years! Two years!
If I had been told that two years ago, I wouldn't have believed it.
When I started, I had no idea what I was going to find out. About Mark Hollis, of course, but chiefly about myself.
I never heard before that some Music could remove a psychological block from a person. I am sorry if I don't explain really well, even though I speak English relatively correctly, there are some concepts difficult to explain in a language which was not originally mine, even though it seems my parents were speaking English between them when I was a baby, but still...
I really would like to explain better what I have in mind when I do these videos. I am not a groupie, have never been, I am not interested in getting an autograph from Mark Hollis or a t' shirt. I can't even say that I collect his records. As long as I have all his originals albums, I am good to go, I don't need them in several versions, jackets or Publishers. I don't even collect his photos, and when I keep some of them on my computer, it is only to maybe use them as a model for my paintings, as obviously, he is not going to visit and pose for me...
So where all this is coming from?
I have been searching and searching and searching during two years, to try to understand what exactly happened to me. Some famous Saints saw the Virgin Mary appear, I just saw the Magic in Spirit of Eden, and more...
I have made all these videos, to compensate the fact that I couldn't talk to him, Mark Hollis, directly. I so wanted to understand his method of working, because what he made, the way he made it is so astonishing! And I have a true passion for people who do the things differently and by a very original way.
I know that I didn't find all what I was searching for, yet. And I am not talking about private facts, I am talking about this secret thing, the incredible ingredient he is using in his Music to make us addicted to it.
Now I arrive after two years of videos, turning all this in my head, in all directions. I know only one thing: that I know absolutely nothing and that I need to search deeper and in my motivation, in my mind, but also in Mark Hollis' Music. I am certain that all this has a reason to be linked and chiefly has a reason to be.
I arrive here at a kind of plateau, probably like he arrived after The Colour of Spring, at this plateau which made him create Spirit of Eden...
I am not sure that I will have my Spirit of Eden, but I am sure that I arrived at a level where I need more, to really get deeper.
I have been very busy with the Holidays, but I am wondering if I didn't need to meditate on all this also. I understand that I cannot continue as always. I think that I must continue, but by another way. Up to me to figure out by which way. There will still be videos, but what kind?
There is the appearance, what we see first. I saw it all. Now I am in front of the deepest core. How am I going to tackle it?
I am totally aware that there is more than one person who is going to think that I am totally crazy. I don't really care. I know what I know and I feel things that I can't explain.
I discovered that Music could be more than something we just like or even love. It can also change who we are. I am sure that Mr Mark Hollis knew it, and employed his talent and energy to use these incredible tools. Is he a magician? A therapist? (he studied psychology). He is a genius for sure.
Let me sleep on it, it is so late, I should be in my bed now. Maybe will I see the new development in a dream too?
If thirty years ago I had known that Mark Hollis was this genius, maybe I would have been very far ahead now? But no regret, only some gratitude to have had the ability to understand something essential for my Art creation. It is always better late than never.
No comments:
Post a Comment